You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
