I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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