I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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