whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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