Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
