Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
