They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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