so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
