we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
