and she was petting her beer can
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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