Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
