I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
