omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
did you just send me my own nude
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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