i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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