This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
