he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
