Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
