Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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