My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
