i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
