I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The power of my boobs compel you
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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