Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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