I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
