i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
