Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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