i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
