Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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