This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What a dumb baby whore.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
