A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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