Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
