You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
