I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't deserve a penis
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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