Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
