i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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