There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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