super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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