so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
