Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
