No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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