Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
