These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
FUCK WHALES
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
