Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
