capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
