Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
