Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
