This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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