the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I could fuck to npr.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
