why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Im part way to drunk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
