Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
