In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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