At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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