I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
