So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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