great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
