Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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