you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have already put on my inside pants.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
