he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
zippers are such a cool invention
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
