what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
