If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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