Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
