So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
