i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just found a bag of teeth...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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