All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize