K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize