Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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