would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i wish my penis had a tongue
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
