I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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