For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
