U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
