Don't you send me to vm
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize