god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I want her autograph on my taint
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
