I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
